Hey y’all. So sorry it’s been so long since the last post of anything. Between the holidays and some internal mental struggles, I’ve had a hard time getting myself to sit down and write. It’s not like I haven’t wanted to write. I actually have made notes on blog topics, and I even have a half written blog post that I need to finish and publish.
Where to begin for updates? We made it through the holidays! It was Gideon’s first everything, and we had a fun time with Christmas especially! Some of our traditions changed, but we are figuring it out and making it work. I have been slowly but surely working on getting each room in the house organized and made into our own. My biggest accomplishments are getting Giddy’s room done and organizing all my books. Giddy is almost 6 months so we are starting to transition him to solid foods. He likes mushed carrots and ice cream. He hasn’t tried much yet, but I am excited to see where this goes. I have been cooking more and there will be a post about that (that is the half written post). I have already completed 4 novels and 1 manga for this year so my reading is finally coming along. I have several books I want to recommend so I will make book blog posts at some point.
There have been a lot of positive to focus on, but with it comes the mental struggle of I need to be better organized. Am I making the right decisions for Gideon? I still need a job. Will the house ever get clean? And so on. The battle that is constantly going on in my head feels like it’s gotten more intense after birth. That could be because of less sleep. I’m not sure. It has been very difficult to focus on anything. I try to start things, but I get pulled away from it because the baby needs something. (He’s fussing while I write this.) I can read books because I can do that while feeding him so it is easier to focus on. However, if I try to focus on it outside of that I don’t get much reading done. I have people that can help babysit, but in my mind trying to get him ready and packed up and taken over and then later picked up just feels like so much that I would rather just sit and do nothing and stay home. That wouldn’t be bad except I get antsy because I know I need to do certain things, but I can’t focus long enough to accomplish anything. It’s the deadly combo of ADHD, depression, and anxiety. So that has been where my mind has been at. I get some things done and accomplished while other things rot away. It’s a rut that I am stuck in. I am sure a lot of people out there feel the same way. It’s hard to try and vocalize it. It’s exhausting because it’s the same looping circle of thoughts over and over again. Like I honestly feel that in trying to explain it, I have repeated myself and that I sound crazy. Le sigh.
It is what it is. I am still trying to move forward and not all is bad. Maybe this is also a mom thing too? There is only so much that can be done at a time because most of our brain cells went to the baby and what little we have left is being used to take care of them. I’m sorry this is kind of a bleh post, but sometimes you gotta let the bleh emotions out.
So things to look forward to this new year. More blog posts. More game reviews (I gotta tell y’all about Palworld). Start talking about books and recommendations. Hopefully gain some sanity along the way, maybe? To any of y’all out there struggling with the same stuff. Don’t give up. Keep moving forward. What are some things you do to help with your blehness? Please share in the comments! Have a good one!
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